I’ve been a bit stressed out lately, between work, family and, now, school (hence the lack of posts over the last couple of weeks). As as result of being stressed, I’ve been more tired than usual and have been sleeping a bit more.  The exact reason is a mystery to me, but it seems that my natural defenses are a bit down and I’ve been feeling more introspective lately.

So, when the news came recently that my grandma has melanoma in her lungs; and when a friend texted me to say that her grandmother has breast cancer and has to have surgery; and when another friend told me her family experienced a devastating loss earlier this week, I felt completely helpless and useless. My heart hurts; I can do nothing but offer to talk if they want or need to talk.

I am the queen of the corny joke, but only because so many other words of support I can offer seem painfully inadequate and banal. I don’t want to do any more damage. I wish I could trade places with those who are suffering to take away the pain.. My natural tendency is to want to shut down in the face of devastating news, but there is always something requiring urgent attention that seems to prevent that.

I did a quick search on how to talk to those who are grieving, and found this gem: “To experience grief is the result of having loved.” Sure doesn’t seem to make it any easier.

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One Response to Helpless

  1. Lynda says:

    Sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen. 🙂

    Honestly, my way of dealing with situations is to crack some corny jokes also. Between my family and I, we will even joke about my sister’s death in a way that we understand, we know she would understand it, but a stranger my think we are the biggest jerks on the planet. It’s a way of coping, and sometimes laughing is better than tears.

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